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Math adds Mr. Milne

Scott Milne, gaining notoriety school-wide for his fine work in mathematical studies, is a newcomer to our fine establishment of learning. But who is this stranger, this interloper, and for what reason has he clawed from the mire of the West to lead minds formerly gone astray in the ways of algebra?

The wilds of Alaska can lay claim to being the wellspring of this titan, being the land of his childhood. Mr. Milne himself had this to say: “I was chased by a moose.” Evidently, spacious Alaska trained him well for a life in the fast lane. In fact, he is “disappointed” that he has not seen moose in New Hampshire thus far. But such moosey glory gave way to the gentler Oregon, where Milne lived for many years. The differences between the promised land out West, the bounty that Manifest Destiny promised, and the rugged granite of New England had struck Milne deeply. He observed that “Dunkin Donuts is more of a thing out here,” as well as that “people use the word wicked.” He even dared to propose that “the sports teams here are better.” Thus New Hampshire became his home to the edification of all, a move that redefined what coffee he drank, what teams he rooted for, and what words he heard.

Manchester became the hallowed ground whereon he thrived, and Londonderry the chalice that held his words of mathematical wisdom. At Londonderry, he taught for 13 years, until Milne realized that what he needed was a challenge, another moose chasing him relentlessly. He found his new moose in Bedford High School. His switchover from Londonderry to Bedford has not been entirely easy, as the differences between these schools are as numerous as the number of freshmen who believe it is ok to stop and stand in the hallway. The block schedule has thrown our hero, who is used to the daily classes Londonderry offers. Furthermore, the technology at BHS, specifically the ubiquitous Chromebooks, have revolutionized and galvanized the methods of madness that Milne calls an education. He also offers the fact that we have “a better mascot,” scorning the Londonderry Lancer. But what could this unstoppable juggernaut of equations enjoy most about Bedford? The fact that we start later than Londonderry could indeed play into such menial affairs. Students may observe that this extra time still does not make them well-rested. However, one cannot deny that the standards of education in Bedford are set astronomically high. Milne noted the bold step of having no Ds, as well as teachers meeting to arbitrate the details of all classes of algebraic aspirations. Milne has risen to the challenge admirably, ever sprinting before the moose of life.

Bedford welcomed our intrepid hero with grace, as indeed professional student Kacey Chapman enjoyed that “He’s more optimistic than most and he has his own way of interacting with students.” His unique style has brought Ms. Chapman much wisdom, such as “2 comes after 3.” It has been an illustrious and likely auspicious start to Mr. Milne’s career at Bedford, and his pupils wish him well (especially if you give me extra credit for this).